Let it snow,let it snow, let it snow. As if we have any fucking choice. As I sit, pondering whether to go shovel, whether to go into work, whether to get dressed, I decided to stall. An easy choice. So, here goes, a traditional, partial reminisce of the soon-to-be-concluded year, 2010.
FOOTBALL. The Alabama Crimson Tide defeats the Texas Longhorns 37-21 in the Rose Bowl to claim the Bullshit College Series. So much controversy over a playoff formula to determine a true college champion. Who's left out, who is deserving, who got snubbed? Who the fuck cares? The NCAA is a fine example of an organization that arbitrarily dictates certain conventions to benefit the REAL rulers of the social scene. Kinda like our American government. The rich elite (politicians and their corporate and institutional sponsors) are like the Atlantic Coast, Big East, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-10, and Southeastern conferences. They get automatic inclusion into the inner circle. The hard-working and under-appreciated middle class is represented by Conference USA, the Mid-American Conference, the Mountain West Conference, the Sun Belt Conference and the Western Athletic Conference. No more than a couple of these guys get into the party, and only if some members of the ruling elite get impeached by losing more than a couple games. Oh, the Catholic Church (Notre Dame), gets a special invitation if they win enough important games. The poor, under-appreciated masses, represented by Divisions II and III, get to play, almost in obscurity, a true elimination playoff. But, enough about college football, and sorry for dipping into politics, I know how touchy some of you can be.
In Super Bowl XLIV, the New Orleans Saints beat the IndiaManning Colts 31-17 in Las Vegas, no wait, the game was in Miami, I was in Las Vegas, at the Riviera, nice party. MVP Drew Brees out-dueled Peyton Manning, Sean Payton called a gutsy on-side kick to open the second half and The Who played at halftime, with no obvious wardrobe malfunctions. Did you know that in even numbered years, the AFC is the designated home team, and in odd years, the NFC? Just might have meant something if the Dallas Cowboys could have somehow advanced to this year's XLV and play in the $billion$ dollar JerryJonesPalace. Too bad for Wade, and Jerry. Oh, and too bad Brett Favre came within one ill-timed interception (again) of putting the Minnesota Vikings into the Super Ball instead of the S'Aints. It only propelled Favre to come back for another painfully indignant season to prove once and for all, that he's old, brittle and well-hung. This year, the Tebow watch has shifted into high gear. Will the Broncos do well in next year's draft to get better? Will John Elway somehow unleash a magic wand to resurrect a crumbling, once-proud franchise? Here's an idea: why not use Tim Tebow and his magnetic Christian charm to attract all the talented God-squadders to come join his mission in the Rocky Mountains, and show those heathenistic, hedonistic, misogynistic sinners how real men play real football? There's always a bunch of G-squadders gathering after the games to form their prayer circle, Tebow could revolutionize the NFL. We could be like the Rocky Mountain Golden Bronco Christian Soldiers against the Mighty Lions, the rest of the miscreant, reprobate hoodlums of the league. Bill McCartney could coach. (Oh wait, how did that Christians vs Lions thing turn out? No Bible scholar, here.)
BASEBALL. Target Field opened up in Minneapolis, the first stadium specifically built for the Twins. Twinkies win their home opener (regular season) over the Red Sucks 5-2. Four no-hitters, including two Perfectos, were dished out, BEFORE the All-Star break. Our own Ubaldo Jimenez started the no-hit parade in Atlanta on April 17 with the Rockies' first ever no-hitter, 4-0. Remember Dexter Fowler's incredible running, diving catch in left-center off the bat of Troy Glaus in the seventh? Dallas Braden of the Oakland Athletic Supporters spun a perfect 27 up/27 down on Mother's Day over Tampa Bay RainMans 4-0. Honorable mention to Armando Galarraga of the Tigers who threw a perfect game on June 2nd in Detroit, but got screwed by Jim Joyce on the call at first base, on the FINAL OUT! Or, SAFE! The warm fuzzy from this deal, was how graciously Galarraga handled it, and how humbly and honestly umpire Joyce owned up to his mistake, and how the baseball and sports-in-general world embraced this rare show of humility and sportsmanship. And, oh, Galarraga got a new Corvette anyway. On May 29, Arvada's own Roy Halladay threw a perfect game in Miami at the Marlins, 1-0. Then, on June 25, Edwin Jackson of the Arizona Diamondbacks threw a 149-pitch 'gem' at the Tampa crew and the Snakes win, 1-0. Then, Ubaldo starts the 2010 All Star game in Anaheim, where the National League finally defeats the American League 3-1 when MVP Braves' Brian McCann scorches a bases-loaded double in the seventh. Yankee owner, George Steinbrenner passed away on the day of the game, RIP the best owner in the history of sports, 11 AL pennants, 7 World Series titles. After the break, one more regular season no-no, Matt Garza of the Rays no-hit Detroit on July 26, 5-0 in Tampa. The Colorado Rockies set a new Major League Baseball record with 11 consecutive hits against the Chicago Cubs on Friday July 30, 2010, scoring 12 runs in the 8th inning, to cap a 17-2 rout of the Cubs at Coors Field. How about that? (Tribute to Mel Allen). Then, in his first post-season appearance, Roy Halladay shoves a 104-pitch, one-baserunner-allowed (full count walk to Jay Bruce in the fifth), no-hitter down the throats of the Cincinnati Redlegs in Game 1 of the NLDS. He joins the Yankees' Don Larsen as the only post-season no-hit wonders in MLB history. Larsen spun his masterpiece in a World Series, Game 5 against the Brooklyn Dodgers on October 8, 1956. Phillies go on to sweep the Reds in NLDS, the San Francisco Giants beat the Braves, then the Giants beat the 'invincible' Phillies (young female horsie?) to advance to the World Series versus the Texas Rangers. Texas beat my beloved Yankees in the ALCS after the Pinstripers swept the Twins (again) in the ALDS, and the Rangers got by Tampa Bay in game 5 of their ALDS. The World Series was anti-climactic, as the Giants scuttled the Rangers in 5, thereby bringing the first title to the Bay Area, well since the Oakland A's of yesteryear. The Chiba Lotte Marines beat the Chunichi Dragons to win the 2010 Japan Series, 4-2 and a 15-inning tie! The South Carolina Gamecocks win their first college title with an 11th inning walk-off single over the UCLA Bruins, in the very last game to be held at Rosenblatt Stadium in Omaha, home of the College World Series since 1950.
Well, this has been fun. Maybe more later on the 'other' sports. But, I admit, I really don't follow basketball or hockey much. NASCAR and golf? Forget it! The only REAL sport is BASEBALL! Thank god for DirecTV and the MLB Channel! And I only follow the NFL because of Fantasy Football. (Congratulations, by the way, to my daughter Alison, who kicked my ass in the championship this year). Less than 7 weeks til pitchers and catchers report to spring training! I predict a Boston Red Sox and Philadelphia Phillies World Series matchup in 2011. (Who doesn't?) Thereby jinxing the two teams that should be the best, but strange things can happen in a 200-game, 7-month season (including spring training and post-season). Why, maybe even the Mets' or Padres' pitchers can record a no-hitter this year, thereby getting off the list of franchises who never have.
Best wishes to all, for a Healthy and Happy 2011! Even to you Democrats and vegans.
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